Anger

So, I unfortunately have a pretty short fuse. Like most girls, I do cry in confrontations or arguments. But my first response is usually anger.
I don't necessarily hold grudges, or stay angry very long though because I'm a huge resolver. I don't hold much back, and if a situation is uneasy or awkward, I want to make it right. But sometimes, the other party is unwilling to do this. That's when I usually go back to angry.
Yet, I have no doubt in my mind about how God feels about this. No matter how I may try to justify my anger, the response I always get is "be quick to listen, slow to anger, and slow to speak."(James 1:19). My first impulse is obviously the reverse. This is a flaw I am all too aware of, and I have been praying for God to change my heart, to help me grow into a more patient and understanding person.
This has proved to be easier with some than others. Some relationships are extremely hard for me to be an example of God's grace. And I know that it's the opposite of what I should do, or what the Lord wants of me, but I just feel like shutting down. My selfish desire is to avoid that person, let them know that I am angry with how they treated me. Send the message, "I already tried to make things right, and you didn't let it happen. So here we are. And it's your fault."
But while I'm stewing in this anger, God is always there next to me, waiting for me to calm down enough to see His desires. And as frustrating and hurtful as it can be, I have to thank Him for these relationships that are so hard. Not that it is God's desire that I hurt, but it is His desire for me to seek growth in these rough situations, instead of just feeling sorry for myself.
It's not exactly second nature to be joyful in my trials, yet there is something so comforting about giving my heart over completely to God in those times. It may not fix the situation immediately, but it changes my perspective hugely. God helps me take the focus off of me, and back onto Him and His Will for me.
"Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience." James 1:2-3.