Expectations are really difficult not to have in many situations. We all have them, whether they come from past examples, experience, or even our culture. The bad thing that can come with holding onto our expectations is that nine times out of ten, when real life shows up, we all end up confused or disappointed.
I prayed a LOT for God to help me release expectations I had somehow formed about marriage, and yet my human self still held on a little bit. I thought I knew a lot about relationships and Paul (and our relationship), and was probably a little overconfident. Luckily, God is so very loving and merciful, and He showed me quickly how much my expectations and reality differ.
Do not get me wrong, I LOVE being married to Paul so much (the week and a half I have experienced so far!), and the model of Christs' relationship with the church could not be better expressed through husband and wife. However, being human means we aren't gonna get it right on our own, and we can get hurt if we aren't careful where and on whom we place our expectations on. I am so thankful to have Jesus to show me His plans and desires, because I know when I hope and expect in Him, instead of myself and my circumstances, I'll never be disappointed.
If you are a single guy or girl, I really encourage you to talk with someone you know who is married (Paul and I are of course open and willing to chat with you!). We are certainly not experts, but even in our brief time together, we already have much to share that God has helped us see. We are also so glad for the married friends we have had help prepare us for married life (and life in general).
Obviously, you won't be able to have it all figured out before getting married, or in any situation for that matter. And for that reason I know Jesus tells us, "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." (Matthew 6:34)
We can't know everything or even expect ourselves to be prepared for everything, but asking God to provide the way ensures we won't be let down.
4 comments:
True :)
this is amazing....very insightful...i would love to sit and talk with you since this is something on my mind :)
whenever you find time, please let me know, would be a huge blessing!
lat stool hunch! (mad gab)
...or dinner. i want to hear about what God taught you in your first week and a half of marriage.
Good stuff. I don't know the specifics but just keep in mind that the adjustment phase soon will overshadow those little uncertainties that can lurk in the beginning. It's a great ride...ups and downs! All these experiences work to grow you and strengthen your relationship. :)
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