Time to Build

I have experienced a huge amount of change in my life in a very short period of time, which has left me feeling uncomfortable, confused and at times very alone. Some of it has come from my own choice, but some has been completely out of my control. While there is always promise of fresh, new beginnings during seasons of change, I could care less.

Until now.

I had been very reluctant to spring into this season of newness because quite frankly, it was stretching the crap out of me. I was being asked by God to enter into new, uncomfortable territory and leave behind my familiar routine, and I wasn't ready. It wasn't fair, I wasn't happy and I wanted to have control over my world and all the things in it.

I knew logically that things in life need to grow and change; when we are comfortable it is easy to become complacent, and that's just not what God has in mind for me. Or anyone, really. I also knew it was stupid to stubbornly resist moving on from the past, yet continued to cling to my attitude of feeling "wronged" and that life was "unfair".

But then I saw something. Words from people younger than me, but so much more jaded. I don't know everything they've been through of course, but one thing was clear from their words- they had given up a little. Maybe not forever, and maybe not on everything, but their serious lack of faith that things could get better really scared me.

Because I don't want to be like that. While there are a million things in our world to grieve your heart, there are a million more that bring redemption. I'm not Pollyanna-ing you, sometimes life is really hard and horrible and sad. But that isn't the end of it, and certainly not where God ends the story.

"...A time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh..."

Ecclesiastes 3:3-4

I'm done focusing on the things that suck, and I'm gonna be focusing now on dealing with my issues, and growing in the process. I plan on seeking the purpose God has for me, and joyfully so. Not because I am ignoring the hard things in life or because I'm faking it, but because my time of mourning is done, and it's time to heal, mature and begin celebrating the amazing blessings in life. Because there are so, so many of them.